Nice to be home filled with welcoming smiles, daffodils and bills ..2012-03-01

Just came home to find  160 Daffodils that Shalini picked from the yard. I feel very thankful for coming home to warm smiles of Shalini, Anupam and Theresa. After so many sounds ( not noise) of India , the quite here is nice yet I already miss the friends, family and the constant hum of daily activities all around in India. It is almost impossible to find a quite place there...

The flight back was nice but exhausting. We got to the airport at 12:30 am and got home in Los Altos at 1:30pm. So,it was  total travel time of 24 hours. Depending on your perspective, it is either too ling a journey or too short a time for travelling all the way across the world. Emirates is a good airline with newer planes and better service and food. Their business class looked very nice ( may be some day we will afford this luxury) .

The Mahayatra was successful in the sense it was an adventure every day and still we ran out of time in terms of meeting friends and relatives. I will end the blog with few tips of  independent travel in India ( beyond normal tour book stuff)

1) A sense of wonder, adventure, sense of humor  and flexibility will go a long way.Do not get too worked up if people do not show up on time.
2) It takes four times longer than you think when travelling by road.
3) Always keep sanitizatiion wipes and DISPOSABLE antibacterial wipes. ( butt wiles)
4} Never trust maps. Best way to ask for directions is to ask the local truck driver who has just come from the opposite direction, The roads can become non exsistant or get .blocked very quickly
5) Regardless of what people and tour books say, ability to squat is a must ( if you travel at all) . It  does not have to be a :GOOD: squat but some way to do number "one" without soiling the clothes :)
6) Always carry Imodium with you and use it when necessary.
7)  Follow ALL other cautions from the tour books
8) NEVER JUDGDE and go with an open mind and heart.

My mind is totally shut down now, so I will try to sleep, thanks for following along. If you are in India , thanks for the amazing hospitality and if you are somewhere else, i will highly recommend experiencing India at least once in your life time. Let me know if I can help . Please know that our home is always open for friends and family ...with gratitude ...saroj

Started Mahayatra with a Mosque at Abu Dhabi ending at Haji Ali in Mumbai

 Anything is possible in India. I have been writing about the Chaos theory and the traffic but then i came across the traffic on the newly constructed bypass bridge in Mumbai. Looking at the picture it is hard to believe it is India....as I said everything is possible in India, even the lanes and cars following the lanes .

 During  morning excursion to the Elelphanta caves I saw all my childhood favorite fruits in one basket. This is all poor man's fruits and used to be sort of a no no while we were growing and there for I loved these fruits. Too bad my stomach does not allow experimenting with them on the day of Mahayatra back.

 Gateway of India is on the southern tip of Mumbai and a gateway to the ocean path ( Arabian sea) to Europe and beyond. It was constructed in 1911 to welcome the queen Mary and King George VI. It is where we took the ferry to the Elephanta caves

 Taj hotel was constructed few years before the Gateway of India and is still one of the landmark and five star beauty. Recently it has been in the news due to the shootings by the kid from Chicago. This area of Mumbai is filled with tourists and has big squares, old British style ( Hence European style) buildings built during the time of English rule and in general is a good tourist hangout. Nice restaurants and trendy shops.

 We took the boat from here to Elephanta caves , built on an island one hour boat ride away ( 40 km). Ritu and Rhea came along. Ritu is 37 years old, born and brought up in Mumbai and had not seen the caves before and neither had Rhea. The caves and the sculptures there were built from 2nd century BC onwards and a carved in a mountain. The carvings are mostly of God Shiva and tell the stories of his life. It is interesting to see that 3000 years ago, people not only found this island but ventured there to build these amazing temples and caves. The sculptures of women even in those times looked lot more liberated even by today's standards. The path to the caves and the caves themselves are clean and well worth a day's of half day's trip. It is a WORLD HERITAGE SITE now ( may be that's why it is so well maintained now)

 One example of the statues inside the caves. There were scenes of Shiva's life but it was dark and the pictures did not come out nicely. This statue shows three moods of Shiva.

 Monkeys are every where in India true to the Indian philosophy of live and let live. In this case, they were very interested in eating the new flowers of the Palash tree.
 After coming back from the caves , we had lunch in a very trendy restaurant , where most of who's who and the "foreigners" gather and this is where the shooting also took place. We witnessed the bullet holes as well as restaurant packed with tourists ( as it was on the day of shooting)

 Haji Ali Dargah is one of India’s most famous and prestigious landmarks situated about 500 yards from the Mumbai shoreline in the middle of the Arabian Sea off Lala Lajpatrai Marg. The structure was erected on a set of high rising rocks and was given its present day shape in 1916.  We decided to visit this famous landmark that no one in our family ( living here for last 60 years have bothered to visit). It is beautiful inside as well as outside and is filled with people asking God for different things. There were beggars lined up...no different for many other Hindu Temple. The location itself is beatutiful

We witnessed a good example of brain washed child when Rhea ( 11 years old) kept saying she is scared and does not feel good about going there without even knowing why she was feeling that way. I gently, tactfully and slowly talked her out of her fear ( at least temp)  and in the end she even went in the Mosque and asked for something secret :) I hope she realized that the people going there were no different from her... 

  

So, the Mahayatra started with a Mosque and ends with the Mosque without even planning that way. We fly out of India tonight and get HOME in 24 hours. I am counting on all of your good wishes to get us home safely. 

This has been a long journey full of all sorts of wonders and excitements. I am very fortunate to have friends and family in India and in Dubai who made this Yatra such a pleasure and I really have no words to thank them. I will miss them but am looking forward to welcoming them in my home in California. ..good night and happy journey...saroj

Bombay..third big business , street shopping and Oscar awards...2012-02-28

I woke up this morning to find my sister in law, looking down from her third story flat and ordering fresh vegetables on her mobile phone. I happen to glance outside and saw a vendor sitting along the road selling fresh vegetables and talking on the mobile phone. I just asked ( thought I was joking) if she was talking to the vendor across the street and sure enough she was J  This brings me to the third biggest business in India…mobile phone industry.  Everyone In India from street sweepers and upwards have at least one mobile phone. Most of the mundane transactions ( like buying vegetables, giving laundry for dry cleaning , buying medicines for American relatives ) is done through mobile phone.

We did our traditional Bombay morning walk on the beach and found this Hanumanji made from sand.  Sand sculptures are made on most beaches around the world, but the interesting thing about this Hanumanji was that people were actually offering money and flowers ( way of worshipping).  We walked for an hour till we reached the section of the beach facing poor ( slums) area and started seeing people doing their morning business  along there so turned around.  Just a fact of life in India. Juhu beach ( where my brother lives) is one of the very  rich area dotted with hotels like Marriott , Radisson  and homes of some of the bollywood stars  but the slums are just around the corner where people live in marginal conditions and use the ocean as their toilet.

On the way back , we saw an overloaded vegetable truck stuck on the road. At home, my niece Aditi came over and took us shopping ( this being the last full day in India) . It is hot in Bombay , almost 100 F with 90% humidity. We decided to see a movie in the afternoon. We  went to see “Artist” and I was surprised to see so many people in the theatre. Turns out, after the Oscars, the top movies get  lot of attention in India. Anyways two interesting things about this : 1) The cheapest tickets are towards the front and most expensive in the back. 2) They have intermissions half way through the movie 3) And most important one that I had completely forgotten was that before the movie starts , national anthem is sung and everyone pays respect by standing up. ( not sure how this tradition started but is at least 60 years old)  .

 Aditi's two year old liked to play with Jagdish so we took him to the movie with us and believe it or not he was quite ( slept) through the movie. We got little bolder after his "angelic" behavior and took him shopping in the traditional Indian market.

 In the market we saw girls getting Mehdi done

People eating Chat and other street food and lots and lots of shops and people all over. It felt like India must be very prosperous country. Came back home tired and hungry. Had Indian Pizza and lots of home cooked meal with Sonu ( nephew) and his family. Every one is gone now and sleeping , i must try to sleep too...good night

Return Journey starts...back to Bombay...2012-02-27

All new things start with Ganesh so the return journey starts with a collection of Ganesh from all over India. Last night at Indore was spent with Tapan and family , thats where I found the treasure of the Ganesh collection. Ganesh is the only GOD that gives liberty to depict him in any form one likes, he is playful , forgiving  and gives his blessings to anyone who remembers him.

Indore airport has been renovated within last one month and looks nice. Relatives and friends came to see us off. It is a ritual in India unlike other places where you get dropped off at the airport curb. Jagdish has many close friends in Indore and it was hard for him to leave. I, myself had a wonderful time but also am ready to come back home to USA. My stomach is ready to be back :)

 Flight to Bombay was one hour and was uneventful. My niece was waiting to receive us at the airport. The Bombay airport is also new and nice. You do not see hordes of shouting men right outside the baggage claim area any more. Speaking of which , I realized that if you just notice the people on the streets, in offices and just around , you will think India has more than 80% men ;) You find young men hanging around at every corner.
 Coming back from Indore ,Bombay seems clean and organised ( good lesson in relativity) but the slums are still there. At home, my brother and kids were waiting with warm welcome and lunch. We gossiped all afternoon, filling them with the latest from Indore The picture is me , my niece and her niece and her son.

 Today is the 37th anniversary of my brother and sister in law. They decided to celebrate it at home with kids and grand kids. There was a very happy chaos with three little kids and eight adults and four house maids. The grand kids blew the candles on the anniversary cake and made a huge mess which got cleaned by the maids very efficiently.

My brother with three grand kids. He really relishes the grand kids and spoils big time.

This time I left behind many fond memories of friends and  family at Indore but I know I will be back soon to see them again. I reconnected with many of them (,thanks to the internet) promising myself to stay in touch more often. With the work with SEWA as well as Explorabox and other volunteer stuff, I hope to have more frequent interactions with the home I was born in and the home I chose to make my own . In many ways these are two different worlds but in other ways the needs of the people are same and I feel very fortunate to receive love from both. It was nice ot be able to stay in my childhood home even though the places have changed completely , the memories and glimpses of past are still there.


So, everyone is sleeping now. Bombay is hot ( 93 F) and humid but the house is comfortable. I feel the tiredness of the Mahayatra already and am looking forward to coming back to USA ( but not the 15 hours flight from Dubai to San Francisco) We need to come up with a better way to travel.

Good night....

last day at Indore..walk down the memory lane and finally the "revenge of ..." 21012-02-25

 Our parent's old home from 1930's

 Residency ( built by the British) on the way to school

 Hanuman (Monkey  God) who helped us kids get through all sorts of troubles..

 Our Dad's clinic from 1945, now my brother and his son run it..

 Puppies(  getting love and warmth) on the way to the river

 A short cut ( may be 1000 ft ) from our home to the river and the temple

Not sure who they are but they seem to live on the street...

So I finally got sick on the last day....not sure what it was , may be the food at the wedding or the heat and water or combination of everything. So, trying to rest and not eat...
Went for the morning walk and yoga thinking it will make things better and may be it did . We went down the memory lane from the time i was born to when we moved to the present home in 1958 ( i think) . Our parents used to live in the house in PARSI MOHILA meaning colony of Persians. These are the Zorastrians , who migrated to India from Persia many generations ago. Most of them lived ( still do) in a closed knit community but somehow my parents decided to live in that neighborhood. By that time ( in late 30's) there were other people living there too, but we did have very close Parsi friends.( I talked about Shreen Irani in previous blogs). The house was a modest home for a family of six kids, parents and usually few cousins, but we have lots of fun memories. Shreen's mother and my mother were close friends and were the pioneers in women riding motorcycle around the town..:)  My mom was uneducated, young mother anda wife and Shreen's mom was Parsi..an outsider, but somehow they became buddies with an adventurous spirit. The Iranis were four siblings, we were six and along couple of Muslim kids ( kids of the famous Cricketer Mushtak Ali) , we had quite a gang of kids getting into all sorts of interesting stuff.
We used to take a "short cut" to go to river and the Temple which were hardly few hundred yards away ( but a big adventure for little kids). The idea used to be to play by the river and then to pray really hard at the temple to get  good grades without studying. The God, Hanuman at the Temple was very obliging to us all ( none of us were religious and Parsis or Muslims are not Hindus) in that we all managed to get good grades.  My sister in law and I went to that walk. What used to be all jungle , open fields and beautiful river full of running water  isnow a very run down slum. The river where we used to play every evening ( between school and dinner time) is full of filth and barely has any water. The Temple is still there but has lost all the flowers and greens  and is built up with more idols and concrete. Even so, when ever my siblings come from out of town, they always visit the Temple. They do it for religious reason but I know that in reality they go there to revive the old memories. The Temple is the only thing that is left behind...

We also walked down the path from our home to the school which was about a mile away.  Our gang of  ten to fifteen kids did that walk every morning and evening for many years. Short cut through the residency, on to the road lined with mango, dates , banyan  trees and flowering Plumeria, we played and made garlands for the teachers (just  in case we were late to school.), it took us an hour or more to do the mile.  There were "ghosts" in the banyan trees and police men with guns at the residency and many other hurdles that the older kids protected us younger ones from.
Now the residency is still there but all the flowers, banyan trees and  orchards of mangoes, dates and other flowering trees are all gone. The police man is still there but the place is opened to the public for walks and exercise and around there are built up colonies and concrete roads. The road where we learned to skate is a major commercial road always packed with trucks, cars and all other vehicles. We could not even walk along there.
I wonder what is the price for prosperity and what and who defines prosperity?  The kids growing up at the same place are bused to schools an hour or more away , attend evening coaching classes , may be watch TV serials or American shows and try to be successful by getting into one of the prestigious professional college.

May be it is true that the life has become more competitive in India and you have to follow along or get left behind but i wonder if there is another simpler way...

I have been writing this for a while , I guess as a summary of my Indore experience or because I am sick and just resting and blabbering...

wedding number 3...pretty pictures 2012-02-25

 Bride to be for the engagement ceremony

 Bride ready for engagement ceremony

 94 year old grandma came from far away place

 Little Aarav came from Jaipur

Mehdi on Bride's feet

 Mehdi on Bride's hands

 Me , Aaarav and his grandmother ( Jagdish's sister)

 Bride and Groom

 The Bride

 Me in another borrowed Sari

Bride's mother and sister

It was a busy day. All the wedding ceremonies were packed in one, This is the third wedding and this one was in Indore itself. This time  it is JAgdish's sister's daughter ( Mudita) getting married.
I went in the morning to the "marriage garden". These are the places people rent for the weddings. These are large open parks with halls and rooms and people rent the whole thing. The decorators decorate the garden with flowers, statues and lights and make a stage where bride and groom sit. There was food stalls in all the corners for the evening reception.
When i got there the place was deserted and looked very bleak. I was told to be there at 11 and of course no one showed up at 11am except me and my sister. Even the hosts were not there. But, soon the transformation took place and by the evening it turned into a magical marriage garden. But ,before that, there was engagement ceremony and food and some more ceremony. Part of the engagement ceremony was the dowry and we gave our side of the dowry ( as bride's mother's brother and his wife) . In Hindu weddings, mother's brother has  a very important role in giving the bride the clothes and other things. We were happy to do that. This wedding had substantial dowry ( including house hold stuff, appliances, . gold , saris and other clothes etc).
It was nice ot be able to see all of nieces at once. Jagdish has four sisters and 9 nieces and three nephews. I spent time with all the sisters ( some of whom came from far away places just for a day) .  It was hot and I actually felt tired. My sister in law thought i was strange that i said that ( i guess i am hardly ever tired) so we checked my temp etc but i am fine. Most probably dehydration in the Sun was the issue.
I was told by by young nieces that i need to change into a better sari for reception ....so i did borrow my sister in laws beautiful sari and went back after few hours of rest. The evening was pleasant, the place was big enough to hold 4000 people ONLY 1000 showed up :)  There was all sorts of food, Chinese, Italian and of course Indian
We came back home around 11pm but the actual wedding has not started yet. The seven steps and the seven circles around the fire ( a traditional Hindu wedding is done according to the old Vedic rituals. The main ritual being the seven cicles around the holy fire with the priest chanting prayers in Sanskrit. This is when the bride and groom take seven wows and get the blessings of the elders) .
The wedding , has many other rituals that will go on all night. In the morning they will send the girl off to the Groom's parents home and her Mom and Dad will be sad and happy at the same time. They will be happy that their daughter got married and everything went well , at the same time they will be very sad that she has gone away to her husbands home for good and they have "given away" their daughter ( according to traditional Hindu culture)
This is it for today. Tomorrow is the last day in Indore , so lots of packing etc.....looking forward to coming back home...good night

Pre Wedding Pictures....2012-02-23 and 24

 Dentist for ten dollars :)

 Street scene in front of Dentist's office

 It's hot now ...cold  earthen pots for water

 Bride to be

 Getting Mehdi ( Henna) done

 Final Product. ( need to let it dry over night)

 Women signing wedding songs

Groom performing Pooja

In the morning we went with Dr, Singhi to the new Engineering College where he is the dean. We met the students and talked to them for an hour or so. It was nice to see several girls in the class, in fact it felt like almost 20% of the students were girls.

In the afternoon,  we drove to Ujjain for the prewedding function. It was about two hours drive and the road was good. I got Mahdi done on my left hand, there was some women's sangeet ( music) and lot of rituals for welcoming the groom. We ( Jagdish) gave them toke sweets, ring and other stuff ( dowry) and then we drove back. It was very traditional and not much fun really. It is mostly men who do the rituals etc and I just tag along and take pictures of kids and talk to them. ( it is best way to entertain myself). We drove back and it was late, JAgdish was grumping and tired. ...not fun at all.

2012-02-24

Today, I spent the morning getting the teeth cleaned. The office and the dentist were both very similar to any American Dental office with the exception the dentist was very nice and did not try to sell anything at all. No fancy procedures and no X Rays. She said my teeth look very good ( i have not heard that phrase for last 20 years) It cost me grand total of TEN dollars.

I visited my friend , Sadhna briefly and then was scheduled to go for the wedding with Jagdish. He called and was very grumpy so i decided not to go at all and went shopping instead. Sorry, no pretty sari pictures any more but i got some very pretty outfits for Emma and Angie.

The weather has become very hot suddenly, temperatures are in 90's so it is good to stay indoors during the day but the evening is very pleasant. We went for a walk and had dinner at the club. It was nice and relaxing. I will try to sleep early today and go for regular walk and yoga in the morning. Hope to report some interesting stuff tomorrow,...Good night

IITs colleges , education and another old friend......2012-02-22

 Driver's kids, future engineers....

I am attaching a map of where we have been so far. The countdown for leaving Indore has started and things are getting very hectic. My sister came over from Delhi just for a day and we spent as much time as we could catching up. We were up till 2 to 3 am ( not sure because i was falling sleep off and on :)  She is gone back now.

This trip is turning out to be destined for meeting old friends. Out of no where another close friend from elementary ( no picture yet, her brother look the pictures) school days called, we were the four nerds , SUrekha, Sadhna , Leelavati and myself that used to hang out together all the time. I lost touch with her after eight grade.

She is the head of the department at IIT Kanpur. If you are not familiar with the IIT's : these were five colleges started by then prime minster of the newly independent India in 1950s. These are scattered around the country , Bombay, Kanpur, Calcutta, Madras and Delhi. Each one was in collaboration with a developed country who pledged to help the adopted institute. These institutes are known, through out the world,  for the quality of engineers they mint out. It is known that it is harder to get admission into an IIT than in any college in the world.  Obviously, Leela is very smart and accomplished and it was heartwarming how she remembers the little details of our days together. Those were such selfless friendships..

Anyways, speaking of IITs brings us to the second biggest business in India : EDUCATION. I learned things unique to Indian Education now , few examples that I thought were most telling are listed below:
1) Coaching classes and Dummy schools: The goal of most parents and kids it to get into some professional college and to do that around tenth grade most are enrolled in the coaching classes of various kinds to get admission in the right college ( like engineering or medical etc) . These classes cost upward of 400 to 500 thousand Rupees ( depending of the reputation of the coach) per year and are in addition to going to schools.This caused the time problem becasue there are only 24 hours in a day and kids are required to attend the normal school during the day and go for the coaching classes in the evenings and then do the homework for both......you see the problem...literally not enough hours in the day.
 So some genius business person came up with the idea of "DUMMY SCHOOLS" . You pay the tution ( typically several hundred thousand per year) , enroll i nthe DUMMY SCHOOL but you do not have to attend it full time. They fudge your attendance, even fudge your lab experiments and you spending time in the coaching class because there you learn the tricks and questions and answers to score in the common state wide exams. ...HUGE BUSINESS..

2) IITs, as you must have guessed already, are even weirder to get into. There is a multi billion dollar business to running the coaching classes for IIT entrance exams. In theory, after passing high school, one can give the IIT entrance exam and depending of the scores  one gets admission into IIT of their choice. Reality is otherwise : kids finish high school, spend two years of their lives and several hundred thousands of their parents money and attend IIT coaching classes for one to two years before taking the entrance exam. I thought irony of all this is that there are coaching classes and entrance exams to get into the IIT coaching classes ....you can extrapolate this to any degree you like :)

3) The positive side of all this is that all perents are aware of the importance of education ( at least for boys) and spend their life savings and time to educate the kids. I have talked to one driver whose kids are IT professionals at Banglore, another one , with much younger kids, is very involved with their education and asked me to talk to them ( ages 3 t o8....very cute kids)

SO, like all things about India, education has two sides of the story. One last thing about it is a joke told by one of our colleagues at engineering college. _  Question: How many engineering colleges are there in INdore? Answer : You start making a list of all of them and put the name of the dean and the chancellor next to it and by the time you are done there will be one more college just opened...:)   Correct answer at this moment is 65 ( remember there used to be ONE)

I can go on about education but it is time to get to the prewedding functions for wedding no 2. PIctures to follow in the next blog




This brings

View Mahayatra 2012 in a larger map

Roshni, Education and house help.....Indore 2012-02-21

Check out this video clip for the popular old song , "chatur Nar" ( clever lady) sung by a very old friend Tapan and a very new relative Dilip Kawathekar at the gathering for us in Indore. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1qv_a2nJts

 My college friend and Dean of Baroda Engineering College

 Roshni, a household help

I am still in Indore so lots of socializing going on and I am taking pictures of friends and family. I picked the one with Shobhna Khare. She was the only other girl with me in the engineering college in a class of about 250. We were together for five years, shared many hours of studies and  after graduation lost touch completely. She happened to be in town just for half day and a common friend arranged a lunch. It was great to see her after 43 years. It was like we never left, we talked very fast trying to catch up because she had only two hours before she had to leave.
Shobhna is the dean of a well reputed engineering college, has two kids both in LA. She and her husband are alone here and are seriously considering pros and cons of moving to LA to be close to the children and grandchildren. This is typical NRI ( non resident Indian) dilemma that many Indian parents and children are facing. The kids are well settled in USA and the ageing parents know that sooner or later they will need help and there is no infra structure to provide care of aging and old. Many are moving to USA (some  reluctantly) others are dealing with it as best as they can by making several short trips to USA  and few are trying to form groups and societies to resolve this growing need and see a great business opportunity in providing the quality care for affluent aging but I personally feel that no care can replace being close to the kids and grand-kids.
I wonder if I did not go to USA, what would my life be in the alternate universe. The Dean of an Engineering college or a disgruntal house wife or a successful business person? I guess everything in life have pros and cons and shades of grey.

This brings me to Roshni ( meaning ray of light) . Roshni does not have a last name, she does not know how old she is , she is beautiful , young, loves to watch serials ( Indian soap operas) , to  dress up and she does all the house hold work for my sister in law. She is the house maid. She has been working here for last five years , I guess she was 12 or less when she started. It is against the law, it is child labor and all other BAD things that we typically think about. But the other way to look at the situation is :  she talks about how bad it hurts when getting beaten up with a belt when she was home.Her father used to get drunk and beat up her and her mother. One day he got drunk and burnt himself. Her step Dad waits for her to come home so he can take her salary and use it to get drunk. She hates to go home but goes there for her mom. Her mom says, Roshni is safe here at my sister in law's home. If she was in village, her mom would be constantly in fear for her safety because Roshni is pretty and young. Like everything else in India , this makes you rethink and reevaluate.

One story about Roshni: Roshni found a baby squirrel , nursed it like a baby and let it go on the tree nearby. The Squirrel used to come "home" every evening, eat from her hands, hang out around her while she peeled the peas and cleaned other vegetables , ate the little larvae ( if there were any) and slept in the box made for her. This went on for five months till one day Roshni founds her dead crushed by an ongoing vehicle. Roshni did not talk to anyone for five days. ( i will put some cute pictures on next time) Good night.....